Friday night was meant to be a three hour rendezvous *don’t Google
as yet→→ meet, come together,
Ok to be honest,
was more like
My plan was to report to work on Saturday morning and reduce the
workload for the following week. I was to hang out with one **Nellie for football,
movie, liquor and while the Saturday evening away. *Remember he of the Captain
Morgan Monday morning fame?*Yes, that one. <<<<Back to Friday
evening. I’m to meet up with two friends on a social call then like a work-loving-Kenyan,
head home in good time in readiness for Saturday morning. I call up **Brian and
he is yet to get to town from the East. **Mike is also not at his usual where
all his friends by now are thinking he owns the damn place. Guy drinks nowhere else when in town but I guess
the few years he spent in Mombasa gave him a thing for terraces. He was to
check in later so I decide my facial hair can use a trimming. Take note that my
facial hair is not very crowded.
It exists only at the chin and has not spread
to the cheeks and below the chin. ^Why in
the living hell is he telling us this? Who gives a river what surface area his
facial hairs cover anyway? ^ Relask! I’m getting there. The point is the
barber charged me an arm and a leg for just trimming my facial hair and he had
the audacity to tell me “ndio mana inakuanga mzuri kunyoa zote pamoja.” Pffftt!!
How about giving me the advice beforehand next time!... Did I just say next
time? EFF that. **Francis, you can tell him there will never be a next time
with me. My friend **Festus was also having a shave at-the-same-time
at-the-same-place by-a-different-barber and he was not charged an arm and a
leg. Mind you he shaved the head and the facial hair. Infact I, Wait a minute! When did this narrative become
a ‘MY ORdeal at the BArber SHop’ kinda narrative? Let me guide you
back <<<<
With a clean shave and an ‘I got ripped off’ spirit, I accompany my friend out of the place,
down Koinange, down Kenyatta meets **Wessy along, parts with **Festus, down
Kimathi and I land at my destination. CBD’s latest FAd. **Brian has since
checked into town and gone to see some friend at some other club. I bump into
some high school friend and one tusker
later, I call **Brian to ask ‘the hell’s
with him!’. He’s been ‘joining me in a few minutes’ over an hour ago now. I
join him at Riviera and who do I see? There is a full table of walevis from our ICT department. Haes,
kumbe mnakunyuanga hapa, uliacha kwenda ile base tulikua
tunakutananga?
>>>> moving on swiftly.
**Brian is with two chicks and a former colleague of his. **Brian
is busy with one, his colleague with the other and yours truly is #WeAllHaveThatFriend
who sits there alone while everyone else is bizay socializing. The colleague
steps out to go look for milk. **Brian what was the milk thing all about? On a
Friday night? In the middle of the CBD? Really? The milk break gave me an
opportunity to say hi and since the two beauties were not staying for long
because of kazi kesho, can I take your number and maybe we can hang
out sometime? Yes, I got it.
The milk guy came and we debated between Psys Tao and THe FAd in
town. THe FAd prevailed. The girls had already left. THe FAd was packed but
seats are always available if #YOuKNowPEople. My medulla tells me to call **Helen
and see if she is in town. She was. This girl should just be made the night
mayor of Nairobi City. I know, I know, vita baadae. She and her sidekick girl
are somewhere on Moi. They will pass by in a few. By now **Brian is bored to
death
and as to why, you guess is as good as mine. **Helen and girl arrive and
light the place up. #**BrianIsStillBored. An hour or so later, **Helen and girl
have to leave for some Msa Rd joint. The friend’s boyfriend comes to pick them.
I will not be joining them since I’m still hoping to get home by latest
10.30pm. if I had been keen to look at my time machine, I’d have noticed it was
already 11.00pm or there about.
I walk **Helen, girl and girl’s boyfriend to
their car and bump into **Beatrice. Apparently we had been in the same club. Hug
her, hand shake her boyfie then I’m back into the club where #**BrianIsStill---
say it with me BORED .
Some beauties come and occupy the spaces left vacant and
**Brian’s mood improves. Before going back in, I had passed by **Mike’s
investment which is across the road and his media buddies told me he had just
walk away briefly. So he returns and comes to seek me across. **Mike does not
look very sober.
A tusker and he drift away. **Brian and his milk colleague
have by now left and I babysit **Mike kidogo as I maliza my tusker and the
other one which **Brian had left unopened. I was the one who was supposed to
have gone home early right? I wake **Mike up 30 mins later and I’m not sure I
should let him head home alone. But the guy is strong and he assures me he is
good. I just record the Taxis number just in case we need to embark on the
biggest manhunt in the history of Kenya. *Ok, I’m exaggerating kidogo*
I also head home several hours past the designated time of
arrival. Sleep is all that I have in my mind. By a show of hand, how many want
to hear about my sleep? No one? Thought so too.
>>>FAST FORWARD>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I
check in at my friend **Nellie’s place late in the evening. We had already decided
that there was no EPL game worth watching so a movie it is. Tinker Tailor
Soldier Spy. At some point, I lost concentration. I thought the whole point of
a movie is to relax and not feel as if you are in a rocket science class. **Nellie
was drowning mugs of tea (what a waste of talent. *just because a man is Lunje*)
while I was on #SomethingForeignAndFinelyDistilled.
It was 8-ish and we was still to pick it from where we had
left it with **Brian. We check into town with **Nellie at around 9. Still check
into THE Fad and find our way to where **Brian is seated. Not before saying hi
to **Cynthia. (Cynthia was my evening party escort date last month at a
friend’s wedding). Back to **Brian, he has conveniently shared a table with two
girls. **Nellie takes the available seat and I will be standing.
<<<< I’ve not been drinking water since 6 so I will dance
charismatically next to one of the girls. Not the teenage all-sweaty-shaking-and-swirling-as-if-your-hips-will-disconnect-and-propel-away-from-your-body
kind of dancing. Noooooooooooooooooo! The simple up and down spring with left hand pumping the air and
beer on the other hand while careful not to seem exited kinda dancing. Yes?
So at one point one of my favourite soul classics comes
on and I ask the lady *nonchalantly of course* if she minds dancing with me. She
says she has never heard of the song (read NO) and I'm think "Who the hell lives in
Nairobi, can visit THe FAd in the CBD and claim not to have ever heard of Valerie
Estonna’s 'Grinding in the midnight moonlight?’". You’d have to be a serial
retard to not have have heard this all time classic. Hehe, I know, I’m just
messing up with your minds. (Please don’t Google her). Any who I continued with my
solo dancing and past midnight,
Galileo was beckoning. Galileo did not have
much to offer. **Nellie does not dance, **Brian does not dance so all the
dancing was left to me (and hell NO! I'm not implying they were to dance with me. Pfft!). This time I found a dancing partner. We found our way
home before the day could break. Crashed at **Nellie’s. Sunday’s itinerary was
Swimming between 12 to 3 (I'm now donning a two pack already.) then head to Nyayo for the BIG western derby. I
cancelled the Nyayo appearance in the last minute and ain’t I glad I did! K’ogalo
fans surely need to know people.
The hooligans donning their colours are are
doing a disservice to the development of football in Kenya. They are reversing the
growth of their own team members since it would be difficult for international
scouts to spot talent from the national broadcaster KBC. It’s football for
crying out loud! Our lives and tomorrow’s bread is not determined by the
outcome of a match. It’s not a matter of life and death Deemiit!
If it could
help to cement nationalism and cultivate deep pride in our great country Kenya,
could we have the major matches played at Nyayo being preceded by the singing
of the national anthem by a Kenyan celebrity or band? This would probably work
best in the Sevens event but we can still experiment with football. A case in
question is the American Super Bowl event. Great pride has been drawn from
singing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ and my girl W.H. brought the roof down in
the epic 1991 appearance at the XXV Super Bowl in Tampa.
Forget Justin Timberlake’s and Janet Jackson’s half time boob fiasco at the XXXVIII, we sincerely need to see our sports and our sportsmen/women grow and in all honesty, some K’ogalo supporters are not helping advance this vision. This is stretching passion a mile too far. I’m friends with decent K’ogalo fans and I have no idea where the hooligans reincarnate from.
Forget Justin Timberlake’s and Janet Jackson’s half time boob fiasco at the XXXVIII, we sincerely need to see our sports and our sportsmen/women grow and in all honesty, some K’ogalo supporters are not helping advance this vision. This is stretching passion a mile too far. I’m friends with decent K’ogalo fans and I have no idea where the hooligans reincarnate from.
#MYTWoCEntsTHis.
**Not their real names. Names changed to protect the
characters identity and maintain their privacy.
<<The above is what I should have done over the
weekend. Instead I stayed indoors and read the 48 Laws of Power,
hence Sunday Night found me typing away this fiction blog post. A powerful imagination is what I have. And yes, you believe me ;-) >>
hence Sunday Night found me typing away this fiction blog post. A powerful imagination is what I have. And yes, you believe me ;-) >>
????Really?
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